Happy Birthday! You are three decades old and single. Searching for a partner goes by many names; dating, courting, wooing, and so forth. No matter the term that is used to describe it, dating is difficult especially after the age of 30. One can become or remain single for a number of reasons. A high school sweetheart turned out to be notsosweet, tattoos and man buns are not your thing, or maybe you just haven’t truly decided what YOU want in a partner yet.
Regardless of your ‘current status,’ your old moves need some sprucing up to find mister right…now. How do you know if you are doing it right? Why are you still dating in your 30s? Well, we took to the expert and found tips from The Millionaire Matchmaker herself, Patti Stanger.
“Nonnegotiables,” Patti paints a vivid picture to illustrate the importance of knowing yourself and YOU want. What are items on your pro and con list for a partner that are nonnegotiables? Sit down, pour some coffee, and set some standards. If you don’t know what you want and what to stand for then how will you be able to determine what mate you want? Single women in their 30s are still in the prime of life but in order to be able to settle down and enjoy your prime with someone else, you need to know what you want. Your “list” of likes and dislikes needs to be updated from your 21 year old self. I know, Justin Timberlake is married…he has to be crossed off your list of possible suitors.
“Increase your selfworth,” Women most of the time sell themselves short. You need to determine the difference in a man with these two words, deserve or desire. Does he prove
himself to deserve you or does he just desire you in that moment. Enjoy being pampered, let them chase you a little and in the eloquent words of Patti Stanger, “no sex before monogamy.”
Dating in your 30s calls for a few adjustments. Advice blogger, Thorin Klosowski, writes, “the “Game” is different, and bluntness is king.” Dating over 30 comes with a nofrills attitude. If you find that a relationship has plateaued, while still being nice you need to nip it in the bud. There is no time to mess around with someone that will give you no future. Time is of the essence and you are not 18 anymore walking around the mall holding hands. You are making sure he has a stable 401k setup for your future together.
Settling is such a “bad word” when it comes to dating. You never want to say you “settled” with your partner, you want to have had a moviesque meetcute near a lamp post on a rainy day and barely be able to catch your breath when you look into his eyes for the first time. *SLAP* yeah, I just slapped you. Snap out of it. That is a story that writers were paid moderate wages to create. But at the end of the day, you want someone to come home to other than your dog so you need to be ok with meeting your future spouse online, or at the DMV.
Not only does your whirlwind romance need a reality check, so does your list of ohnonos. Things that are annoying in your 20s become habit for those in their 30s. If you think smoking is gross and you are 22 dating a smoker, he may quit because it was a phase while at the frat house. If you are 32 dating a 40 year old smoker you may not have as much luck getting them to quit. Find someone that meets your requirements or be able to give on certain subjects.
Love yourself and be true to you. If you don’t love you, why would someone else be drawn to you. Happy people radiate an aura of welcoming light. Become that light and you will attract those that want to be with you. D ating over 30 can be challenging but it is not impossible.