Before we can even begin to discuss whether male privilege does indeed exist in modern romantic relationships, we’ve first got to understand what this phrase even means. Male privilege can be defined as “a concept for examining social, economic, and political advantages or rights that are made available to men solely on the basis of their sex.” We already know men get the higher paying positions and leadership roles in the work world, but how can this concept be applied to the male dating world?
You may not even realise it but male privilege does indeed exist within romantic relationships! You’d think, as partners in life and love you’d treat each other as equals and want each other to thrive. But it seems conditioning has led males to display privileged behaviour within relationships. Let’s examine why.
Think about how men were raised to view women decades ago before the women’s movement happened. Women were seen as the weaker sex who were better equipped to stay home raising the children, keeping a clean home, cooking for her family and being a good wife to her husband. But after the women’s movement women became more independent and started pursuing education and fulfilling careers once reserved for men. Despite all the progress society has made with liberating women and allowing them to pursue the same opportunities as men, discrepancies still exist. Remember The Hunger Games actress, Jennifer Lawrence’s most recent outcry at how much less she gets paid than her male co-stars. Society are still putting men on a pedestal. And in the male dating world, men are still putting themselves on pedestals.
Men at Work
This has translated into men’s relationships with their significant others. A lot of men don’t like how their partner’s busy career takes time and attention away from them. Men can also be bothered by their partner earning more than them or being in a higher position at work than them. Instead of being happy for their lady, men can feel threatened by a woman’s success – especially if their career is a little stagnant. So guys, make an effort to be proud and happy for your girlfriend/fiancé/wife if she is excelling at work. She is contributing to the life you are building together and it’s likely she is supportive of you also trying to build a successful career. You’ll catch up to her eventually if you put in the hard work, and by that time perhaps she will want to slow down a little to focus her energy on other things. Until then, be her biggest cheerleader because if you’re not she will son tire of you making her feel bad for doing well.
Do Your Chores
I bet as a kid everyone hated getting assigned chores. Whether it was dishes duty, taking out the trash or doing the laundry, chores were never fun. And as an adult, they’re even less fun because if you don’t do them, mom isn’t going to be doing them for you. Which brings us to our next point. A lot of men are mama’s boys. They were likely spoilt by a mom who cleaned up after them, cooked for them and made them feel pretty darn special. So when they leave mama’s cosy nest to cohabitate with their significant other, they kind of expect the same treatment. Listen to groups of guys in the male dating realm chatting and a lot of them will disagree that they should be expected to work and contribute to the home. Well, wake up guys! If your woman is working 8 to 5 you CANNOT expect her to clean the house, do your laundry and have supper on the table by the time you roll in from the gym. You’re equals and you need to pull your weight or you’ll get the boot. Sit down together and come up with an agreement on who does what so you can share household chores equally. It really isn’t fair if she’s slaving over the stovetop while you’re kicked back in front of the TV so be mindful.
Remember You’re Equals
It’s easy to think that because you’re the man that you wear the pants in the relationship. But that’s not a relationship then, is it? It’s a dictatorship. You wouldn’t like it if you had to go to her for permission to go out or see a friend. Or to embark on a new business venture. Or take up a new hobby. As partners, neither of you should have to ask permission from each other to do anything. You are two independent individuals who have become a team and a team can’t thrive if there’s one person calling all the shots. So, make sure you give her freedom to grow and just be because nobody likes being told what to do. If she’s constantly having orders barked at her she’s going to get over it (and you) pretty quickly – after all, humans are all about free will. If you don’t trust her, then you’ve got some talking to do because a relationship can’t survive without trust.
Men should be made aware of the male privilege that exists in the modern male dating sphere. Male to male dating can be tough as it is (I mean, women can be hard to decode), but it doesn’t get easier if you don’t treat your lady with respect. It’s important to remember she’s not a robot there to follow orders and fulfil your every whim. She’s your partner and your equal, so treat her that way.